N/A

You open your eyes and still see nothing. Everything is blurred and distorted out of proportion. But if you stop and think for a while, and figure out why everything became so dark. Maybe things will brighten up again. Just a little bit of light will shine through that blurred view and what you'll see when your vision clears. Is someone that was there beside you. Through all those years.

Done

It bothers me to think that everything that happened in connected to me. I upset the balance. They always said that before i came along nothing exciting ever happened. It was dull. Boring. Peacefull.

With me its a circus. A never ending rollercoaster. I know that i have destroyed your perfect peacefull world. You remind me everytime something happens. It seems no matter what happens or where i am, It gets pinned on me. But who knows, maybe it is my fault and it is my responsibility to change it for the better.

I cant do this to them anymore.

Bound for Life

Even the tighest woven threads unravel easily when pulled the wrong way.

Just remember, it is possible to tie them back together.

Scape goat.

"Ever since Amanda moved here..." are all the words I ever hear. All that follows these few words i have sub consiously blocked. Why is it that when there is something new in somebody's life they tend to blame all their problems upon it?
I am not a scape goat. It doesnt seem fair that i am caught between problems that are not even mine to deal with.

"Yes father."

I try to exlpian. You shush me up. Lecture me for a crime not commited. I begin to talk. Freeze and concider my options. Fight for the truth and demand my side be heard or sink my head down and simply say "Yes father." Inevidably, i choose to sink my head down. I have no desire for richousness anymore.

Quote from the book i am reading

"It hurts more to have and to lose. Then to not have in the first place."

Not too sure about this one...

Unable to focus. Reading but not understanding the written word. Following along and yet my mind has wandered into an unknown oblivion. Another chapter goes by. Each and every sentence pronounced perfectly. So very clear and yet, nothing has sunk in.
I look you in the eys. Listening to every word you speak and still, i feel as though it must be repeated again. So that maybe this time i will have realized everything.

The story behind "The Wishing Well"

It is believed that when you toss a coin into a well or fountain, and make a wish, your wish will come true. Many people do this whenever the chance arises. However, very few know why this phenomenon came to be.
Many years ago, before my time of course, there lived a man. Who was incredibly wealthy and along with his wealth, there was also greed. His wife would ask him for a new dress and be told that the one she has was good enough. A beggar on the street would ask him to spare some change and be scowled at, told to get a god damn job. His servants would ask for a raise and consequently their pay would be decreased. There was only one person who was never turned away. This person was only six years old and her name was Penelope. She was the daughter of the wealthy man. Penelope was the complete opposite of her father. Incredibly generous and never turned away someone in need. One time, she gave some beggars her shoes to sell because she had no money when they asked.
Every day after school little Penelope would stop at a fountain. This fountain was hand carved and had 8 flowers that spouted water into a crescent shaped bowl below. The fountain was in a park with well kept grass and popular trees. Along with rose bushes and a stream that ran along the northern edge of the beautiful park. Penelope enjoyed sitting on the edge on the fountain and listening to the birds sing. She was often visited by a homeless man, whom claimed to be a former employee of her father’s that was fired because he did not place the lid back upon the cookie jar. Leaving him with no way to pay the rent, this rendered him homeless. Penelope felt bad for this poor man and gave him her spare change. Her father gave her money every morning so that she could buy chocolate milk at school. Seeing as she always already had a juice box in her lunch kit, Penelope felt there was no need to purchase another beverage. Saving her money for those in need.
These meetings with the homeless man went on for quite a while until one evening her father came into her play room and asked her why she was giving her money away. Penelope explained to him that she was just helping out people in need. Furious, her father said he will no longer give her money for chocolate milk until she smartened up with this nonsense.
“But papa I promise that I will not give my money away no more” exclaimed Penelope. Of course he could not refuse his daughter and the wealthy man forgave her. The next day after school, as usual, she went to that same fountain. Only, instead this time instead of waiting for the homeless man Penelope tossed a handful of coins into the water. She decided to make a wish first, like she does when wishing upon the first star seen at night. Penelope hoped that the homeless man would find the money and use it to buy some food. Penelope hid behind some rose bushes and watched as the homeless man came to the fountain. He looked around for a bit and wondered where the little girl was. The homeless man noticed a silver glint in the water, reached down, and took the change from the water. When the homeless man left, Penelope went back to sit on the ledge of the fountain and listened to the birds sing, Satisfied that she had technically not disobeyed her father’s orders.
This went on for many years as the child grew up. Tossing change into the fountain. Some people questioned her as to why she does it. Worried that if she told the curious people that the money was for a homeless man, they would tell her father Penelope simple said it was good luck to toss a penny and make a wish. Much like wishing on the fist star seen at night. Soon, other people began tossing coins into fountains and making wishes. This phenomena spread all over the world and is still done many generations later.

Unimpressed.

Are there no boundaries anymore? Does the simple solitude of privacy not exist these days? Apparantly not.

xD

The lights flicker as a phone rings in the background. Lonely, i sit in these halls. A stanger to a place i once lived so many years ago. I stare forward but not seeing anything and await the begining of another school day.

Tired But Not Sleepy.

Im tired but not sleepy. Im awake but not fully aware. Have you ever had the feeling someone is watching you? Even with knowing you are Completely alone...Im numb yet I can still feel. Im angered, yet filled with so much happiness. Fifty is divisible by five, Yet five in an uneven divisiability. So rough, yet smooth as silk. So deep, yet barely breaking the surface....These have been the delirious rantings of a dream. Because Im tired but not sleepy.

My first of many to come.

Well there isn't much to say. My life is a rollercoaster of events that seem to be neverending. Im in the first row of seats and even though it seems the world is whirling past me in a blur of events that seem unertain, Im being left behind. Leading the pack, yet following from a distance. I have no idea what's going to happen next so all i can do is sit quietly and wait for the end. While everyone else, screaming at the top of thier lungs, anticipate what is to come...The ride has begun to descend. Slower and slower, the events advance forward. More turns and curves. I shut my eyes. Trying to block out the insanity that surrounds me. Everyone stops screaming. I open my eyes and realize, it was just another dream...So closely resembling my day to day battle.